BURGESS SEED & PLANT CO. CATALOG

Sitting here thumbing through the Burgess Seed & Plant Co. Catalog I can only assume that the Garden of Eden must have looked very similar to the smorgasboard of earthy delights I have been gazing upon and lusting after with unmitigated longing.  Is it wrong to be turned on by what I see on these glossy pages?  Surely my eyes are taking the same path as those of a man perusing a girly magazine.  Back and forth, up and down my eyes wander like a child in a toy store at Christmas.  The desire to order large quantities of everything I see is almost overwhelming. Just the thought of seeing Hardy English Lavender flanked by the Burgess Half Price Vegetable Sampler brings a feeling of calm and accomplishment to me.  Just thinking of the curiosity my friends would display over my lovely Honeyberries, Seaberries, and Grand Duke Kohlrabi brings a smile to my face.  Why I could grow my own Luffa's and give them as gifts!  My Watermelon Radishes would bring them to the table and what could a banana shaped Cantaloupe possibly be other than an outright show stopper?  Yes, I could have it all. My very own Garden of Eden to wander through and ponder through every month of the year, all year long.  There's only one thing stopping me from doing just that.  I'm a Natural Born Killer in the plant world. If Horticulturists had their own Post Offices my picture would be up in every last one of them. I have failed at every attempt I've been given to nurture, to cultivate, to perpetuate any type of life form that keep their tiny feet buried under the dirt. I'm like the Hannibal Lecter of the plant world because if I could actually grow a garden then just like him, I would be having an old friend for dinner.